I confess, i am really into hardcore BDSM. The harsher it is for the girl the better. I really want to do it in real life. And not just some whips and candles and semi light taps. I'm talking things like big needles and skewers, hard wire for a whip, a soldering iron, vice grips, serious electro play, strangling, ect. As close to real genuine sexual themed torture as i can get without wanting to know where she hides her money lol. I really want to hurt the girl in my fantasies and inflict as much pain as possible. Here's where it really gets fucked up though. I am married but i don't even want to do stuff like that to my wife. I can't do that stuff to someone i care about even if she would let me (she wouldn't). It would have to be someone I have no feelings for whatsoever and pre arranged with their consent. But, even if i could find someone like that my wife would consider that cheating. Even if i could resist fucking the woman at my mercy (which at least for me would defeat the purpose of it all) it would still be cheating and even I see it that way. Frustrating bit of fuckery this, isn't it? I love my wife, I don't want to hurt her or leave her. I've always just had this really sadistic side. I guess i'll just keep jerking off to the sickest BDSM i can find.
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